


Our Drifting Emotions

by jesterlady



Category: Lost
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Episode Related, Episode Tag, F/M, Gen, Male Friendship, One Shot, Post Finale, Season/Series 06, Series Finale, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 18:58:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterlady/pseuds/jesterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sawyer's thoughts and actions as the Ajira plane lands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Drifting Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Miles/Sawyer friendship FTW and it's possibly the nicest I'll ever be to Kate.  
> Disclaimer: I don't own Lost. The title is by James Houston

They land at a private airport Frank seems to know an awful lot about. That’s not really what Sawyer’s thinking about though. What he’s doing is reeling from the fact that he’s not on the island, that life goes on, and that Juliet is buried somewhere behind him where it doesn’t seem likely he’ll ever be again.

The instant the plane stops, he’s out of his seat and hurtling past a still-frantically-grasping-each-other’s-hand Kate and Claire.

“Where are you going?” Kate yells at him, but he doesn’t stop. 

He has to get out of there.

Frank’s too slow with getting the doors open and Sawyer practically yanks the handles off and almost breaks his neck before he realizes there’s no stairs. He jumps, landing hard, not sure if he's injured himself. He gets up gingerly and then stands there, letting his body adjust to being on non-island ground.

The others disembark more normally and they stand around in a group, awkwardly, nobody talking. There had been some sporadic conversation about what the hell they were supposed to do now - but mostly everyone had been quiet, contemplative, probably scared out of their wits. Talking about getting off the island is all well and good, but then it actually has to happen.

Richard looks around like he’s never seen concrete before which is ridiculous because it’s not like there wasn’t concrete on the island and Sawyer knows for a fact that Richard’s the one who recruited Juliet to the island in the first place - he resists the urge to punch the man in the face - and the man wore designer clothes, for heavens' sake. But being off the island and knowing you were never going back are two different things.

Kate and Claire both look like they’re about to fall apart and he guesses they have good reason. The three of them could probably start a lover-killed-on-the-island support group if the idea didn’t make him want to laugh hysterically. At least Claire has lost the murderous glimpse in her eye, though he doubts she’ll be a good mother until she’s had at least a few months of therapy under her belt.

Miles and Frank just stand there, not looking perturbed in the slightest. They’re obviously thankful to be back, but the tragedy of the island probably didn’t scar them as bad as the rest. Sawyer takes that back when he recognizes the clenched jaw Miles is sporting, a sure sign that the man is struggling. He can read him backwards and forwards after their three years together.

“I’ve got a house nearby,” Kate finally says. “I doubt anyone knew I was gone- my parole should be okay.”

“They finally try you for that whole mess?” Sawyer asks, actually able to speak, which, frankly, surprises him. 

He also realizes he doesn’t really know anything about her life off island. In his defense, there hadn’t exactly been a lot of time to catch up since she’s been back in his life.

“Yeah,” she says and nods. “No jail time, but I was bound to California state lines. Jack’s testimony-“ 

She breaks off.

“Better hope no cops were at the airport the day you left,” he says. “Or, you know, monitoring the airports like they tend to do.”

“I can handle it,” she says and turns to Claire. “Let’s go to my house and get all cleaned up, then we can see your mom and Aaron.” 

Claire looks ready to combust at the thought of seeing two family members long thought gone and Sawyer’s envy of her reunion almost brings him to his knees.

“Yeah,” Claire finally says. “Yeah, okay.”

“Screw this,” Sawyer says and starts to walk away. 

“Sawyer!” Kate calls. “Sawyer, stop!”

“Go to hell, Freckles!” he yells back, without stopping.

“Jim,” Miles says, not shouts, says. Sawyer stops. “Don’t be an idiot.”

“When have I ever been anything but?” he asks, flashing a grin as he walks back. 

A shadow of one anyway.

“Plenty of times, now stop bleeding all over us.”

“You’re lucky I like you, Casper.”

Miles smiles at him and Kate looks hurt that one of the freighter people can stop him and she can’t. He has to laugh.

“I’m sorry, Kate.”

“You’re not the only one who’s lost someone,” she says.

“Everyone,” he corrects her, but doesn’t say anything else.

“I know,” she whispers. 

He curses inwardly and then pulls her into his arms, avoiding her bullet wound, stroking her hair. 

“It’ll be okay,” he soothes. “You got Claire home, you can see Aaron again. We got off the blasted island.”

“I’ve already been off it,” she says. 

He smiles.

“And had to run back cause there weren’t any other place to run to, that it, Freckles?”

“I’m done running,” she says. “How about you?”

“Let you know when I know.”

“Promise me, James,” she says. 

He almost starts to bite her head off again because it feels wrong to have anyone else call him that, but what's the point?

“Hell, I promise.”

“I’ve got some people I want to introduce you to,” she says, then turns back to Claire.

They all start to walk off the tarmac, Frank smoothing things over for them on the way out. The man was certainly handy, no doubt about it. 

Sawyer starts to feel glad they were together. He didn’t know what a life was like without the island; hopefully, one of them would. Juliet’s death was fresh in his head - how long had it even been? He could see her slow smile, her eyes, her beautiful skin, hair sliding over his shoulders as she kissed his neck, hear her voice putting him in his place.

“I miss her too,” Miles says, falling into step with Sawyer.

“You going soft?”

“Following your prime example, boss.”

“Ain’t your boss no more.”

“Maybe not, but habits die hard.”

“What will I do now?” he asks, not really expecting an answer. 

He gets one anyway.

“You’d make a good cop,” Miles says, not looking at him. 

Sawyer blinks.

Where had that come from? Con man to head of security to being a cop? Those years had changed him - she’d changed him. She’d lifted him from being a worthless human being to someone who wanted to help people. To someone who could love selflessly, not wanting anything back. 

Funny how he’d lived an entire lifetime before the island, but those few years and the rest of his life would be forever tainted by it. He’d known his fellow survivors only a few months, but he would be grieving for people like Boone, Shannon, Charlie, Libby, Sun, Jin, Sayid, and others for the rest of his life. He suspects the rest of this motley gang will too. He closes his eyes and tries not to think about Jin. That was almost as hard as losing her. He’d have to make it up to the man somehow - their daughter - which leads to thoughts of his daughter - he needs to find her - which leads his thoughts back to where they would probably remain for the rest of his life. Blonde hair, quick wit, and a mean aim.

He flicks his hair out of his eyes. Time for a haircut. That could come later. For now… 

“Wanna be my partner?” 

Miles grins at him and Sawyer has the feeling that they can at least make a start at living.


End file.
